We want to talk to you. Yeah you. The guy with the garage full of stuff and the broken down playhouse in the backyard. Come on in and sit down, have a frosty beverage, just listen to what we have to say, it may just make your life easier. Allow us to introduce ourselves, we are EZ Haulers, Seattle’s finest junk removal company.

There comes a moment in every man’s life when he has to face the facts. Now, we know this might be tough to hear and that it is a painful part of life, but most of us have to face up to it at some point. Much like growing old, watching the kids head off to school, or watching your dog run off with the neighbor, (Huh?) this rite of passage is simply a part of the natural cycle of life.

That’s right, Hakuna Matata, it’s time to throw away those old Christmas lights that only have three bulbs that still work, you are never going to fix them. Let that sink in real deep and hear what we are saying. It is over, move on. Every year you plug in the same string of lights, remark about how you need to replace the burned out bulbs and put them back in the same old box — only to repeat the process next year.

Stop it man! Get it together! You are never going to get replacement bulbs! Listen, we are doing this for your own good. We know it hurts, but you know who is here for you? EZ Haulers. We are Seattle’s number one junk removal contractor and we help people just like you every day. Those that did not think they could let go of the extra strings of lights. Ok, Ok, we know. You were only doing it to save money because LED Christmas lights are too darn expensive, but you are not helping anyone, man.

All you have to do is put the boxes on the curb, call EZ Haulers, and boom! Like magic the lights will be gone! It is that easy. In fact, you know that playhouse in the backyard? The one the kids haven’t played in since they went to college? Well we can get rid of that too! Yeah we know, lots of memories there, but wouldn’t you be more happy with an outdoor kitchen or a hot tub? No, its ok, one step at a time buddy, we will get through this together.

Alright, did you put the box on the curb? Ok, now dial (253) 200-1244 and let them know what you have. You know they could pick the old dryer in the back of the garage. Woah, nevermind there partner, we can start slow, its ok. But just wait until you see that truck pulling away with your old junk in it, it feels good, like freedom. Like an eagle flying over a mountain on the beer commercials good.

See, EZ Haulers is here already to take all that junk you never used anyway. Doesn’t that feel better? Congratulations on making the first step towards decluttering. What’s that? Oh… no I am not really a hugger… ok, ok I can’t breathe big guy….